I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape.

haRl0x .. tHiis Iis m0ii w0rxx ..

Tuesday.
was a really nice day, but a so damn tired day. so, had lunch with Amos and Brandon muk. and then went for servers' meeting. and then I was like trying to keep myself awake as I was damn tired. :( I just wanted to close my eyes and go to lala land. but 'cause there's only so little people, I can't do that. so I stayed awake the whole time. Yay ariellna, you did it. it was supposed to end at 930, but it ended at 1045 D: I was like, dying. and then had a really nice time with Amosyy on the way homey. SO FUNNAYE. your face makes me laugh :D and we took the last train of the day :o train service has ended. :ooooooo okay I'm being really lame. but it's okay :D WHOOOOO. I feel really unwell now. but WHOOOO. okay.

Wednesday, today.
went out with mummy to Marina square to have breakfast at Waraku. ahahha sounds so kuku la. then went for haircut. my hair's not curling anymore! HEHHEH. and then it was 430 already, so I headed to suntec to serve. I didn't serve for a really long time. so I had nice time preparing the stuffs. :D so after that I had to go already. then went home with Amos again :D yay. and then that was the end of my day. ahahaa loved it, alot. :D love me love me, say that you love me. leave me, leave me, just say that you need me. I can't care bout anything but youuuuuuuuuuuu whooooooooooooooooooooo. <3

those three words are said too much. THEY'RE NOT ENOUGH.

I'm going to go on a diet. I'm fat. I'm not fat. I'm becoming heavier, my fats become flabbier. I'm gonna go back to my one meal a day. I don't care. :( I wanted to watch one movie online yesterday but it was late, so I didn't. now I can't remember what I wanted to watch. screw. I'm really tired of everything. and I pray that I get the subjects I want. I don't feel like going servers meeting today. I don't know. 'cause I'm not really close to the people in my department already. hur, but there's nothing I can do. alrighty, I'm not really in the mooooddd noww. :) yay. bye.

I've never told a lie, and that makes me a liar.

okay, I'm having a flu. maybe not. I've been sneezing from morning. but I was okay until in the middle of service. I sneezed a bit. and then on my way home, I sneezed, alot. :( and then now, I'm sneezing like hell. but I think sneezing is way better than coughing. flu is like the best illness. :D okay, so it's gonna be a serving day for me on Wednesday. I must well go since I don't have anything to do at home right. I'd rather serve than rot at home. ahha. so today was a lovely day with cass, esther and tricia finally came. I'm feeling hungry now :( oh ya, I've stopped myself from eating fastfood. so, no mac's, burgerK, kfc, what else is there? I don't know. just no fast food for me for now. 'cause it's so unhealthy. tsktsk. okay. I'm really tired nowwww. D: but I guess I'll get more energetic later on? hmmmmm. okay.

I can be your hero babehh!

I feel really high now. LIKE WHOOOOOO. :D :D beeleebeeleeblableepbloop, BLOOPPP. yay, I spent my day at home today. I had a really bad sleep last night, and I felt really tired this morning, after I ate, I went back to sleep and woke up in an hour and a half. then I felt more awake. dinner was good, but bad. I felt really satisfied, but I felt fat after that. and I don't think I should care. I'm not fat. I just do not have muscles, that's why? but I face grew chubbier, and it's so not cute. >:(

anyway, I had a nice day at home. and looking foreward to tmr :)

Make You Smile.

The last time I saw you, you turned away.
I couldn't see you with the sun shining in my eyes.
I said, 'Hello,' but you kept on walking.
I'm going deaf from the sound of the freeway.
The last time I saw you, you turned away.
I couldn’t hear you with your voice ringing in my ears.
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
I couldn't feel you. You're always so far away.

The first time I saw you, you turned away.
I couldn't see you with the smoke getting in my eyes.
I said, 'Hello,' but you kept on walking.
I'm going deaf from the sound of the D.J.
The first time I saw you, you turned away.
I couldn't hear you with the noise ringing in my ears.
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
I couldn't feel you. You're always so far away.

I don't, don't want to take you home.
Please don't, don't make me sleep alone.
If I could, I'd only wanna' make you smile.
If you wanna' stay with me a while.

The next time I see you, you'll turn away.
I'll say, 'Hello,' but you'll keep on walking.
The next time you see me I'll turn away.
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
I couldn't feel you. You're always so far away.

I don't, don't want to take you home.
Please don't, don't make me sleep alone.
If I could, I'd only wanna' make you smile.
If you wanna' stay with me a while.

I don't, don't want to take you home.
Please don't, don't make me sleep alone.
If I could, I'd only wanna' make you smile.
If you wanna' stay with me a while.

you're always so far away.

spent the day with Amos. went new york new york for lunch and then watched Max Payne. it was, okay, quite nice, a little wierd, but nice. :D HAHA, whatever. I got a shock at certain parts. it was like :o I could have died. and it was so.... I don't know. aha, enjoyed my day. :) oh! and I found my plus 44 cd. I'm sooo happy okay. I didn't listen to it for like damn long already, and I finally found it and I so love the songs. wheeeee. but I still think Blink 182 is better. but plus 44 is way better than angels and airwaves(?). and I'm so lazy to go back to school on Tuesday to hand in the subject combination form. zzz. AND YAY. I'M BACK TO THE SLEEP LATE WAKE UP LATE THING. I feel so happy 'cause I do not needa worry that there's school the next day, 'cause there isn't. HA. HA. and I miss pz girlys. :( I haven't seen them for quite awhile already 'cause of o's. when I was at downtown just now, when I saw wildwildwet, I just thought of the chalet that time. ahaha, so fun. thinking of it makes me kinda happy. but sad at the same time. I just can't wait for their o's to be over. then it'll be party time. and I feel so lack of clothes + $$. and I'm having goosebumps non-stop now. I hate the feeling. zzz. I feel like a pig every night. but I think my sister's worse. HA. so yay. bye.

ps. thanks for the movie today, A :D <3

even though it's hard to hear the truth, it's every little thing that makes you move.

you know, I don't have the feel of blogging. ?_? but I feel like, I don't know :) I feel tired, but not tired. I don't know :D AHAHHA, YAYYY. I'm quite satisfied with my results as I've improved hell lot from the past terms and I'm happy bout that. and next year I'll do even better :) but, the criteria for N level changed. so irritating. and I don't know what I'll do if zappy ever dies. D: I feel so attached to it. It's so fatty, so furry, so adorable, so black. okay I'm off to macs with cuzzzzyy.

you be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground, I'll be the wings the keep your heart in the clouds.

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL BABY. I feel so yay now. :D okay byebye.

you do, you don't.

interclass was a bore. I guess there's not much activities tmr. so, physic or bio? and my calves are aching now. it hurts. I hate this feeling. and I'm tired. I'm gonna sleep. goodnight. sweet dreams. we'll meet in lala land.

give you all I can,
flower and a hand.
I hope this helps you see.
signed, sincerely me.

I can't be superman

today is a really tired day. I woke up at 645, when I was supposed to wake up at 6. I didn't really care. 'cause I'd still be in time for school. I was stuck in the hall from morning till the dismissal time, which really sucked. I don't really feel like going to school tmr, but I will. HA. anyway, I was reading this book, this part is damn sad:
'I think it would be better if we could be... just friends'
'friends,' she echoed. 'Friends?' she repeated loudly.
there was a dull splat.
HAHA, WHOAAAAA. okay, I'm getting lame.

oh, kiss me.
beneath the milky twilight.
lead me, out on the moonlit floor.
lift your open hands.
strike out the band,
and make the fireflies dance.
silver moon's sparking.
so kiss me.

let's make this night last forever.

okay, service without pz, again. 'cause O level's are tmr :o it's seems so fast. so, all the best to Cass, Char and Tricia <3! so, I sat with Amos and his dg during service. I hate it when I've to sit with other people's dg. but, it's okay :D and, I've grown so attached to you, what am I donna do? hurrrr. tmr's school. I don't wanna go. and I miss serving in creative comms. though sometimes it's abit tiring, but yay. but I hate the debriefs after service. it's so long, and annoying. and I guess there's gonna be alot of serving already 'cause camp is coming up. I remember the banner we did for ej3. it's damn nice. and I feel a little disappointed now that I can't go ej4. it's pz's last camp TOGETHER, and so many people can't make it. I know the p&w's gonna be fun. the late nights together's gonna be fun too. but what can we do if we can't make it? haha, why did I get into the subject of camp? I can't wait for their exams to be over, then we can spend time tgt again! sleepovers, and december 31st! time to open our time capsule. and then write new ones! WHEEEEE. :DD I still remember clearly what I wrote. 'cause I only wrote one stupid line. and I need to write a brand new one. so it's coming to the end of the year, it gets faster and faster each year. so.... the world is coming to an end?

you'll always have my heart.

I think I'm the fattest person on earth now. :( I just ate like hell lot, and now, I'm eating chips. GRRAAAHHH. okay, since when did I use grah? o_o okay, if pz came today, it'd be DAMN fun okay. extended praise and worship was goody. but Tricia and I kept talking. hahahaha, during sermon also talk. so it's kinda a talking day today. and I'm glad that I came today. I wanted to not come, but Tricia was going. so I went :D and then met Amos after service for like 15 minutes? and talking was funny fun fun. so happy :D love him :p and had a really nice day today. and I think morgan's crazy. CRAZY BITCH. okay, I'm sorry. maybe the problem is me, too? HAHA, I don't care, what can you do? OMG, MY BACK OW, IT HURTS. OUCHHHH. oh dammit. I feel so tired today. I had a nightmare. when I woke up, my heart was beating damn fast. and I wanna stop using "super" also. it's so... ugh?
oh ya, I was listening to first date by blink 182. I kinda miss that band. HA.

Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm too scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

so close, and still so far.

I stayed at home the whole damn day. and I feel :( , not really. HA. I watched enchanted online, again. hahaa, actually, it's only like the second time I'm watching it. and I bloody forgot what I wanted to type. D:< I stayed at home, and finally started to pack my room :D I feel so nice. haha, and I found the letter Tricia gave me last christmas. hahaha :) it's so nice reading it again. hahahaaa, it just reminds me so much of last year. and I found my last year's diary also. it's so full of Moses. ugh. and it was filled with sadness. I guess it was really retarded? heh, so funnaye. and you know, cause I'm sleeping late every night, I think that my eye bags are like :O ! and it's black too. help? D: grr, I'm not really looking forward to dare tmr. I feel like just going for sunday. but nevermind, I'll still go, to take up time? and I hope that my cousin will still be at my place when I come home. :) and I think we're all back to the don't like dare feeling. zzz. after P. Benjamin took over, dare became worse. it was already screwed before that then now it's like worse. wtf? so, anyway, I think it's like a little crazy, after I ate dinner, I'm still hungry. and I'm like not in a really good mood now. I hate this mood. I feel so annoyed by, should I say the name? okay, fine, since not much people know this blog, I think Morgan's fucking annoying. I think he's crazy. he's freaking crazy. I feel like OSIHGOAHVILKUDV;ALSDA,.CXMN,ZVSS,F,JKD, at him now. and I shouldn't do that next time, 'cause if my sister's laptop's keyboard spoils, I'm dead. grrr, screw.

together, it doesn't feel right at all.

alrightyy, today school day was nice. but, boring. so, I don't like the government. why does he make us into normal tech/acad/express/special? it's so irritating. anyway, had lunch with Amos. hurrrr? this picture was taken last sunday :D and dare's this week. andddd, I hope things will turn out more right this time, I don't know. maybe all these things aren't a VERY good idea. I don't know, well, I'll just let daddy guide me. okay, fine, I sound so dotdotdot. but seriously. hahaa, okay, so I'm confirm gonna tak, english, chinese, poa, e math, chem, bio, literature and art. :D alright, I'm somehow excited for next year. 'cause it's a brand new year, and I'm gonna study study study! :D I suddenly feel so motivated. ahahahhaa, but I'm trusting in daddy to give me the subject combination I want. like, please? omg, I just used "like". oh dammit. :D I love life right now, I don't know, but I just love life. yay? okay, I don't love love life. I just love(?) life. wth. I think I'm slowly going crazy. and I feel so happy about my subject combinations. AND I STILL FEEL SO LACK OF PHOTOS.

don't turn around, and say bye again.

so, today was a quite enjoyable day. I passed my Literature. :D I'm superly happy about that, so yay. and today was class lunch at eighteen chefs. the food was damn zzz. even I could cook better than that pathetic pasta. haha, okay, abit mean. but :D hahaha. I realised I can't stay at home too long because I keep eating and eating. I eat non-stop, and I'll never be full. it's like, I don't know, I think I'm eating too much. and after I eat dinner, I still feel hungry. and I start to eat again at 11+ in the night. :O and I should stop. :p so, I passed English, Math, Literature. hoping to pass Science and History? I failed chinese. and I don't know what subjects to choose. I wanna read, I wanna love to read, I wanna take Literature. I don't want Geog, I don't want history. and I don't know what I should take for science. I wanna take A math. ARFGH. ahahaa. okay.

don't turn around and say bye again
Yeah it crushes my head when you call me Your friend
and I'm not the same person from back in the day,
in the back of the class that you thought was gay
No I can't find the words
cause I lost them the minute they fell out of my mouth
And it's love and I'm in it,
so give me your lips and just let me kiss 'em
And let's get messed up and
listen to probably the best mixtape I have

the sky is changing, we are one (:

got back my results today, I can't wait to see my overall results. I really don't know how well I would do, but I know I did my best and I studied. I'm not VERY satisfied with my results. I passed english, I don't know how much, I got 61 for my math. :(! stupid paper 2, it pulled me down alot, but my paper 1 pulled me up alot. I failed history, for the paper alone, I don't know about overall. but, I'm just really scared. I hope I can pass Literature and science, chinese is a confirm gone case for me. hur. but it's alright. :) I know I'll pass all except for chinese & history? I really wanna take Literature next year. ha, but I still don't know. I can't wait for my results, suddenly. okay, so it's a nice day. I still feel lack of photos. and I miss serving already. this dare is gonna be a break for us to celebrate 'cause there's no more exams. and I think I should stop using "like" not that I like you you like me that kind of "like" it's that "like" you know, that "like". get it?! I think it's damn bimbotic, or just so, not nice. haha. so I shall stop using "like" and "lol". :D

running through the monsoon, beyond the world, to the end of time

yay :) there are many more photos, but I guess one photo's enough :D we just had a great time yesterday :D I really needa get out of the house. I'm like dying of boredom :( and I really don't wanna go school tmr :( my holiday mood is like turned on already. and I looooooove sleeping late every night and waking up late every morning. maybe slightly earlier if I'm going out, but it's so so nice to sleep late every night and wake up late the next morning and just laze around, with nothing to do, and stuff myself with food and sit on the couch and grow fat and die. HAAHHAAHHAHA. okay, I really don't wanna go school tmr. thinking of it makes me bleah. and I'm not gonna sleep earlier today, because I don't feel like it. and I'm gonna eat fries for supper and thats bad. bad bad. ahaha. but nevermind! my cheeks were chubby yesterday. boohoo. omg, I just used boohoo. I didn't use that for a super long time already :o hahaha.

today, is the day I pray that we make it through.

enjoyable day today. :) I wish I had the photos now. like, now. okay, so I met Amos and then met Alvin later and went together to suntec :) I actually felt like eating, KFC, I don't know why, but then after for a while, I lost my appetite. but, I still ate. so, we reached suntec really early, so he waited with me until cass and esther came :) so service was again, YOU AND ME, AND ESTHER TEO WITH NOTHING TO DO, NOTHING TO LOSE CAUSE IT'S YOU AND ME, AND ESTHER TEO AND I DON'T KNOW WHY, WE CAN'T KEEP OUR EYES OFF OUR BOOKS. okay, after eating and everything, went into service p&w. during service I suddenly felt really really ultra sleepy. so I slept a little until esther woke me up. then towards the end of the service, I GOT SO DAMN URGENT AND I NEEDED TO PEEPEE. zzz =.=''' and I was like controlling and controlling until yay! ahahahha :) and today was WHOLE pz. like really everyone, cass, char, esther, tricia, ying and I :) we celebrated char's birthday at n.y.d.c. :) the food was damn nice <3. take manymany photos. the mudpie was soooo nice okay. I feel really fat today, and then went to fountain of wealth. I wanted to wait until the song we dedicated to char was played. but then, it was getting late, and I had to go. soo, I left, we took a last pz photo before I left. heh :) went home with Amos again, and Brandon. you know, I feel sooo good that no one knows this blog except pz and (maybe) my mum. LOLL. you know why, 'cause I can say whoever's name and no one really cares :D :D so, yay.

and I guess, this song, grrr :(
I looked away, then I looked back at you.
you try to say, things that you can't undo.
if I had my way, I'd never get over you.
today is the day, I pray that we make it through.
make it through the fall, make it through it all.

and I don't wanna fall to pieces,
I just wanna sit & stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it.
and I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it,
'cause I'm in love with you.

you're the only one, I'll be with till the end.
when I come undon, you bring me back again.
back under the stars, back into your arms.

and I don't wanna fall to pieces,
I just wanna sit & stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversatoin,
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it,
'cause I'm in love with you.

wanna know who you are.
wanna know where to start.
I wanna know what this means.
wanna know how you feel.
wanna know what is real.
I wanna know everything, EVERYTHING.

and I don't wanna fall to pieces,
I just wanna sit & stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it.
and I don't want a conversation,
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it.
'cause I'm in love with you.
I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU.

so sweet right! <3

fall to pieces

today, was like whee. had lunch with mum & sis at crystal jade. omggg, I'm really so excited tmr :) and I don't know what to wear. I've like, ran out of clothes. and I'm back to my unglam moments. not really "unglam moments", but it's kinda like, back to the t-shirt & jeans/shorts. which is really really really bad. maybe I should wear my banana dress tmr. hmmm? depends on what the rest wear tmr. hahaha, I don't like to wear dress, like alone, when everyone else is wearing shirt & shorts/jeans. hahahaha. 'cause I'll feel kinda wierdddyyy. :p oh ya! I bought an angel silicone cover for my ipod. IT'S SO CUTE. ahahhaahhahahahha. I feel partially high, but I don't know why, I feel kinda wierd messaging you now. no it isn't Morgan. but, I just feel like, argh, I can't really explain the feeling. really. hahahahaha. not like it's fake. oh ya oh ya! you know, I saw the video bad day by daniel powter on mtv. ahaha, I totally forgotten about the vid already. it's damn nice. :) so nice! HAHAHHAHAHA. bye.

half alive

hello.
I'm trying out blogger, again. so hello blogger. I'm leaving my xanga alone for while. I suddenly got really bored of xanga, and don't want certain people to know my blog. so, I've moved quietly to blogger :) and I'm really confused about some stuffs, which I shan't mention. I don't wanna like, you know. hahaha. okay, so, today, I had lunch with A :) talked alot. an d I loved it. he made me laugh like super alot. his laughter is so contagious. :) hahaha. I suddenly, like like blogger o_o and this sunday, I'm super excited, yay! :D :D I really am. hahahaha, whooooo. and no more lyrics for me for awhile, unless there's some songs I'm really in love with. so, no more song lyrics :) I forgot where my link comes from, but it's from a song, and I forgot what song, but it suddenly came to my mind. HA. but I know it's from a song. lolz. I'm going slightly crazy now. okay, so, I feel that I'm growing fatter and fatter each day. I keep eating unhealthy stuff, like: maggie mee, frozen food, fast food. and blablabla. omg. how?! I keep eating mac's and it's really bad. like bad bad. and I dislike people who keep bugging me to go dg. don't you get it? I don't wanna go, so, what CAN you do? make me. okay, I'm not trying to being rebellious or whatsoever, but, I just don't like it. especially my current dgl. I feel so irritated. =.= and also, there's new people, that I don't really like. ha. :) forgive me. it's natural for someone to not like certain people, the way they're behaving, right? anyways, holidays are like <3.>:( okay fine. okay hols haven't really started, well, I don't have school 'til monday, so it feels like hols already. and I don't feel like getting my results back. I'm really scared, yet excited. It's eoy, and I've never felt this nervous about my results before. maybe 'cause I did my best during the exams, and studied more than usual. but, still, I don't really want to get back my results. haha. I want to get the subject combinations I want. okay, I don't really know what I want, I just know that I wanna take Literature, but I have second thoughts about it. hurr, I don't know. ahha :) and I feel realllyyy, zzz about some stuff. arghh. it's alright :) there's still daddy. :) and I realised so many like really nice songs are all sang by guys. lyrics are super sweet. and I've been staying up yesterday looking for a movie to watch, online. but there's like nothing. this afternoon, I watched stepmom on HBO. it's damn nice :) and I feel so satisfied. hahahaha, and this hols, I MUST watch a nice movie. I tried watching transformers online, but it took like damn long to buffer, so I gave up. and I'm desperate to take photos, before my smile become like, completely fake. it's already so fake, I don't want it to be even more fake. like fake fake. oh no.

heal my heart & make it clean.
open up my eyes to the things unseen.
show me how to love like you have loved me.
break my heart for what breaks yours.
everything I am for your kingdom's cause.
as I walk from earth into eternity.